Witticisms

Some witticisms.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -- Albert Einstein

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

The way some people find fault, you'd think there was some kind of reward.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim

The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

Love isn't only blind, it's also deaf, dumb, and stupid.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Cole's Axiom: The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.