Sunday, December 30, 2012

It's Official, I'm an Old Fart

When I found out my cataract surgery was scheduled for Dec. 26, I thought I'd be wearing an eye-patch for awhile afterwards. One of the things I got for Xmas was a customized eye-patch with the Packer "G" on it.

Turns out the only time I wore the eye-patch was when I tried it out and occasionally when I put it over the unoperated eye to see how much improvement there  is in the eye that had the cataract removed.

What I did have to wear was a clear plastic shield for the first 24 hours after the operation and will have to wear it at night for a week. (Is wear the right word when it is taped in place??)

Supposedly with the new lens in my eye my vision will improve. (They said it's like having a contact lens and my vision should be close to 20/20.) The next day I wasn't able to make out the largest letter on the eye chart with the naked eye. What I thought were three horizontal lines turned out to be a large "E". Now, several days after my vision has at least returned to where it was pre-op. One difference I noticed on the day after the operation was the difference between eyes. My left eye was the one operated on and when I look at things with it, the colors are much brighter than with the right eye. It's like there's a dark filter on the right eye.

Anywho, like the title of the post, I guess now I'm officially an old fart as cataract surgery is one of the things that old people have done. When I see the eye doctor next week, I'll ask when I will have the other eye done.


  1. Aaaaaaaaargh! Nah, doesn't work with that patch. Spiffy patch though.

    Nothing wrong with being an old fart. It's when you turn into a flatulent old fart that the down slippage begins. Flatulence expelled through the place which never shines, that is. Pie hole doesn't count. That occurs at all ages, in many of us.

  2. Helen had that done to her eyes a few years ago. I'm not clear on the results, she still wears glasses a lot and doesn't appear to see any better.

    Rick got contacts and sees much better but still needs glasses for close work.

    I just use cheap reading glasses.

    Nan seems like a pretty intelligent woman, I wonder what induced her to take up with a scrubby looking fart. :-)

  3. No, you still need hemorrhoid surgery to be classified an 'old fart.'
    the Ol'Buzzard

  4. No, you still need hemorrhoid surgery to be classified an 'old fart.'
    No, Assholes can have that at any age.

  5. The wife had that surgery a few months ago. She didn't think it was funny when I kept talking to her like a pirate. Harrr!

  6. How in the world did eye surgery become proctology? Yah folks are demented mothers!

    Don't go driving around in that snow one eyed...

    Happy New Year!


  7. Kulk, a few years ago a friend of mine had to have eye surgery and was forced to wear a patch for while. Three of my friends and I showed up for a Titans game wearing matching eye patches to make him feel better about the deal... The five of us looked like deranged, drunken pirates for the first half of an NFL game.

    Good luck with your vision... I've had some issues of my own the past couple of years!

  8. Eye surgery and proctology? Of course, you need an oculorectotomy. they sever the nerve between your eyes and your ass so you don't have a shitty outlook on life.


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