Thursday, December 5, 2013

No Memorial Service For Me

Yesterday as I was heading for town in my truck the radio station (Oldies, of course) did the obits. I had a thought about my demise and the aftermath. I decided I don't want any kind of memorial service after my death. If people can't be bothered to visit me when I'm alive, they sure as hell don't have to come see me when I'm dead!!

Going back several decades I can count on one hand the number of people that have visited me at home. I've visited a lot of friends and relatives thru the years, but most never return the favor. So like I said, if they don't want to visit me when I'm alive, they sure as hell don't need to come see me when I'm dead.

The kids may have other ideas about this, but I'd like if they do anything that it be limited to the immediate family. The Old Lady says if I go first she's going to have me toasted and scattered, so if the family gets together to see me released into the wind, that's OK.


  1. Immediate cremation with no memorial service is my plan.
    I sure as hell am not about to see money wasted on a funeral, hole in the ground, and a tombstone for a grave that nobody will visit.


  2. Actually, lately I've been leaning towards a Hefty bag and Arvon Transit and Trash.

  3. My cremation isn't what bothers me, it is paid for, it's these cocksuckers trying to keep me alive so they can make more money while trying to keep me alive for a while longer.

  4. First choice would to be cremated in a bonfire at a biker bash.

    Second choice: to be cremated and put in a douche bag and have the wife run me through one more time.

    Third choice: Dressed in a Superman costume and thrown out of an airplane over Jacksonville Naval Air Station.

    the Ol'Buzzard

  5. I wouldn't mind being cremated with a Viking funeral, but neither of my boats will burn. The Whaler might but it would be hell getting it to burn.

  6. Remove the drain plug from the Crestliner, cover it with spray foam insulation. After the fire cremates you and the flotation in the boat, and the spray foam over the hole it will sink.

  7. I'm still leaning toward the Hefty bag. Cheaper and environmentally friendlier than cremation.

  8. Cheaper and environmentally friendlier than cremation.

    True, dat, or a cotton body bag, maybe an old sleeping bag.


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